Holiday Blues

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year”…so says the famous song by Andy Williams anyway.  It’s a time for families and friends to get together.  It’s a time where diets typically fall by the wayside because you get to eat your favorite foods.  The laughter of children fills homes.  Families gather in front of the TV for parades and football and basketball games.  Family from near and far gathers together talking about days of old and making new memories.  It’s hard to believe that this isn’t a joyous time for everyone, yet for many, it isn’t.  The holidays can be tough for many people.  The death of family and friends can be overwhelming for many during this time no matter how long ago the family member or friend died.  I mean, after all, the holidays are typically spent with those you love, so if a family member or friend has died, there is a void, whether they died yesterday, last month, last year, or 20 years ago.  For those that can’t provide the needs, let alone the wants for their family, the holidays can be an overwhelming time as well.  Sometimes pride or the fear of being judged or ridiculed won’t let them accept help; so they suffer in silence.  The holidays can be a lonely time for many even when they’re surrounded by family and friends.

Let’s consider the widow or widower.  You’ve spent years and years together celebrating the holidays, and now your soulmate, your partner in life, your friend and confidante is no longer there.  He’s no longer there to carve the turkey.  He’s no longer there to put the star atop the tree.  He’s no longer there to sip eggnog with as you look at your favorite holiday movies.  The scent of holiday dinner wafting through your home is gone because she’s no longer there.  She’s not there to put out the holiday decorations that you always thought were over the top until she wasn’t there to put them out.  She’s not there to take care of shopping for the kids and wrapping the presents to go under the tree.  Maybe you didn’t even get to grow old together.  You had plans to spend your life with this person, and here you are in the prime of your life and your spouse is gone.  Sure your family and friends are there, but they aren’t there in the still of the night, when there’s nothing and no one there but you and your memories of days gone by or thoughts of dreams that weren't fulfilled.  Even in a crowded room the heart of the widow or widower can be empty and alone during the holidays.

Let’s consider the family that’s experiencing a rough time financially.  Their ends aren’t meeting at all.  They’re working hours, requesting holiday overtime, just so that they can put food on the table for their family.  While many have more food than they have space or people to eat, the family that’s experiencing a rough time has a meager meal.  It doesn’t look anything like those holiday spreads that you see in the movies or on TV; there’s not enough for seconds, let alone the leftovers that so many complain about.  While many are looking at Black Friday ads, they’re trying to figure out how they can get their children one something special so that they don’t have to wake up on Christmas morning to no gifts because society has convinced us that Christmas is all about toys and presents.  Maybe someone invites them over to their home, and they don’t bring much, if anything, because they couldn’t afford it.  People talk about them packing up to-go plates not knowing that they’re going to eat off those for the next few days.  Many are too proud or embarrassed to let you know they need help, so they isolate themselves.  Given how commercialized the holidays have become, it’s easy to see how the family that’s struggling financially can be overwhelmed during the holidays.

Let’s consider the singles that don’t want to be single.  The singles that don’t want to be single are in a different category from the widows and widowers.  See, they don’t even have memories to hold on to.  They have dreams deferred.  They have dreams of having a family to prepare dinner for.  They have dreams of having someone to decorate the tree with.  They have dreams of not arriving at family and friends’ homes alone, yet another year.  They’ve got to listen to that well-meaning family member ask when they’re going to get married or when they’re going to have children or whatever happened to so & so (the person that unbeknownst to this well-meaning family member broke their heart).  They’re praying that they don’t become that old bitter family member that nobody wants to fool with but they’re old and family so someone has to pick them up and bring them to dinner…may as well be the single person that doesn’t want to be single.  I mean, after all, what else do you have to do?  For the single person that doesn’t want to be single holidays can cause you to want to be isolated and alone because it’s just easier sometimes than having to look at couples all hugged up with their cute little kids.

So, how can you fight the holiday blues?  You must look beyond your circumstances.  When you focus on your situation, it could put you in a state of depression or loneliness.  Consider volunteering at a shelter or food bank.  As bad as you feel your situation is, someone has it much worse.  You must remain grateful even when things aren’t as you want them to be.  Your loved ones may be gone but be grateful for your memories.  Your funds may be limited, but be grateful that you have the funds that you do.  Your life may not be what you want it to be, but be grateful for the life that you have.  As crazy as it sounds, someone would gladly trade places with the life that you complain about.  Most importantly, stay prayerful.  Stay connected to the SOURCE in spite of your RESOURCES or lack thereof. 

Lord I pray for those reading this that may be experiencing holiday blues.  I bind up the spirit of loneliness, despair, unworthiness, depression, fear, doubt, or shame.  I speak life into dead situations.  I pray that while all our wants may not be met, that you meet our needs.  I pray that you’re a comforter for those needing comfort.  I pray that you’re a mender of broken hearts for those who still struggle with the death of loved ones or relationships that you didn’t ordain.  Keep us grounded in your Word.  Keep us grounded in your truth.  Give us a mind to be of service to others for in serving others we feel closer to you.  I pray that those reading this that don’t know you have a desire to know you and are surrounded by people who know you and exhibit you in words and deeds.  Amen.