Dear Future Husband,
I’m not sure why I’m writing you today, but I just felt I needed
to say these things to you. I pray that this letter finds you well.
Hopefully, you’re going about life working as unto Christ making ready to
present yourself to me. God hasn’t given our unity the thumbs up yet
because you and your purpose are so special to Him that He doesn’t want me to
be ill-prepared in helping you to fulfill it. I pray that you don’t find
yourself in a position of loneliness as God prepares me to be your helpmate.
Loneliness may make you choose someone other than me if only for temporary
pleasure or fulfillment. I know because I’ve done it while I’ve been
waiting on you. You see, my love, I haven’t always been in tune to God’s
plan for us. I’ve entertained relationships and “situationships” that
were not God ordained in an effort to find temporary happiness.
Loneliness made me believe that passing the time with others would at least
keep me happy until you came along. However, it didn’t. It only left
me wishing you would come for me sooner.
Here’s the thing though my beloved…if you had come for me
sooner, our marriage wouldn’t have worked. As ready as I thought I was to
be a wife, I wasn’t. In some ways, I’m still not. I’ve grown
tremendously, but I’ve got a little more growing to do. See, now I know
what I’m meant to be for you and what you’re meant to be for me. Together
we’re meant to help each other fulfill the purposes and callings that God has
on our lives. God wants us to be good alone and be a mighty force
together with Him.
Sweetheart, I am broken. What I currently allow people to
see and who I actually am are two different people. Right now, I’m like a
woman with beautifully coifed hair, in a designer suit, with Christian
Louboutins on my feet, but a bra being held together by a safety pin and
unmatched panties with no elastic. On the outside, I’m fine. On the
inside though, I’m raggedy. I don’t want you to find me as your good
thing this way. I don’t want to be united as one with you this way. I
want to bring you favor from God. I want to be whole, and I want you to
know that every night I pray that God is making you whole too. I’m
praying that the things that have your heart and mind bound are released.
I’m praying that you, like me, are learning to release the mistakes of your
past. Our mistakes were meant to shape our ministries. I realize
that we’ve both experienced things in our past that have shaped and molded us
specifically for each other. Every mistake, every disappointment, every
rejection, every heartbreak that we’ve experienced is going to be key in
helping our love to thrive. Neither of us is perfect, but in our
imperfection, we will be able to love each other perfectly.
If I'm completely honest, in a lot of ways my independence has
crippled me to love. God is working on me and in me to make me
humble. So, please be patient. I’m used to being in control; I’m
used to running things. As God humbles me, I will be more willing to be
submissive to you. I’ve always thought that submission would require me
to give up who I am. Until recently, I’ve never fully embraced the fact
that the person I am is meant to be a very vital part of who you are to become
because woman was formed from man. God is teaching me to be patient, and
at the very same time, He’s working on taming my wrath. Trust me when I
say that you’ll thank Him for that later. You may find it hard to
believe, but I’m kind of selfish too. Who am I kidding? I’m a lot
selfish. The plan that God has for you will require me to share you with
others though. So, He’s working on me so that not only will I understand
having to share you, but I will support you and encourage you in all you
do. I’ve accumulated things and possessions that I will likely have to share
with you or leave behind once we become one. I understand now that
uniting with you will likely put me in a position to have to leave behind what
is comfortable to me. I’ve always resisted stepping out of my comfort
zone. I’m afraid of the unfamiliar; I can’t control the unfamiliar.
So, I avoid the unfamiliar because it makes me uncomfortable to not be in
control. My resistance isn't a refusal or rejection of you; it's a battle
within myself with fear. When you feel me resisting, make me feel secure.
Let me know that I can trust you. Show me stability and safety.
Eliminate my insecurities. Be my covering. I’m sharing all
this so you will understand me, my weaknesses, my flaws and my imperfections.
I desire to be vulnerable to you. Love requires vulnerability.
Love requires risks. Love requires leaving yourself open to be
hurt, but trusting that the one who God has chosen for you will do everything
in their power not to. I realize that there will be times that you will
hurt me, and despite my best efforts I will hurt you. I pray that we will
know how to overcome the hurt. I pray that we will know how to go to God
in prayer together, day and night. There was a time that I prayed just
for you: God show me my husband; God make my husband honest and faithful;
God let my husband seek after you. I now see that I need to go to God
just as much (if not more) about me as I do about you. I have faith that
God is going to give our unity the thumbs up soon. I have faith that our
season of waiting for each other will be over soon. I have faith that our
latter will be greater than our past. Faith without works is dead though
Beloved. So, I'm working. I'm growing. I'm becoming obedient
to God, His Word, and His purpose for me. I'm studying. I'm
praying. And I'm waiting...on you.
Love today, forever, and always,
Your Future Wife
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