The ABCs to My 100lb Weight Loss

I actually wrote this on New Year's Eve 3 years ago after losing 100lbs between February and December 2012.  Life happened and I've gained some of that weight back.  Today was a good day to revisit it.  Maybe it might be helpful to one of you as you work to meet your goals for the new year.

A…Accountability

Find someone to be accountable to.  This person can be someone on the journey with you or just someone in your support system .  It must be someone that you trust to keep you on track either because they’re trying to reach the same goal or they’re just super supportive to you reaching your goal.

B…Be honest

The scale can be deceiving at times, but even if the scale isn’t moving, if you’re giving it effort you should see and feel changes.  If you don’t, re-evaluate what you’re doing.

C…Care about you

Care enough about you to put the journey to fit first.   I’ve had to let some things and some people go.  2013 will be more of the same because I’ve got to do what benefits me and my health. Period.

D…Drink

Drink at least 64-128oz of water EVERY DAY.  Limit or avoid sugary, carbonated and alcoholic drinks.  If you must have them, flush them out with twice as much water.

E…Exercise

Losing lbs is great but you need to tone muscle as well. Nuff said.

F…Forget old habits

Train your mind to be focused on the new you.  All the things of the past that hinder you from doing that, forget.

G…Gravitate towards like minded individuals

Just like it’s hard for an alcoholic or drug addict to run in the same circles, foodies have to get with people that share and support and share their goals.

H…Have a splurge meal

One day a week, have a splurge meal.  It’s unrealistic to believe that you’ll give up all your unhealthy foods, but learn to do them in moderation.  You can eat anything you like; portion control and moderation are key though.

I…Independence

Though you need an accountability partner (s), this is YOUR journey.  People can’t lose weight for you or keep you motivated.  That’s internal.  I’ve walked alone, exercised alone, eaten alone…not by force, but by choice…to prove to myself that I can do this.

J…Just do it

Don’t talk about it; be about it.  Talking about losing weight or needing to lose weight does not get rid of pounds.  You gotta do work.  Ask me how I know…

K…Knowledge

Knowledge is power.  Be knowledgeable of what you’re eating.  Read your labels.  Know how your body reacts to certain foods and certain routines.  No two bodies are the same.  What works for me may not work for you and vice versa.  Know your body.

L…Leave the naysayers alone

Not everyone will understand your journey.  “I like the way you are now.”; “You don’t need to lose weight.”; “That’s too much weight to lose.”  Again, this is your body.  Do what makes you happy.

M…Make time

The common excuse that people have in regards to weight loss and exercise is I don’t have time.  It was mine for a LONG time.  Make time to be fit or make time to be sick.  Period.  Point blank.

N…Never compare

Never compare your journey to someone else’s.  Their journey is theirs.  Your journey is yours.  What God has for you is yours.  Don’t focus on what He’s doing for others and wonder why not me.  This is a general life rule actually…

O…Options

Give yourself options.  Lifestyle changes don’t have to be boring.  The days of eating dry salad alone to lose weight are gone.  There are so many things that you can eat and do if you keep your options open and broaden your horizons.  I’m eating things I never thought I liked and doing things I never thought I could do.

P…Pray without ceasing

No discussion needed here.  However, also keep in mind, faith without works is dead.  Again, you gotta do work.

Q…Question

Ask questions about things you’re unsure of.  Changing your lifestyle may require some professional intervention.  No shame in that; just be informed.

R…Remember why you started

Remembering why you started keeps you anchored and focused on your goals.

S…Self Preserve

Every person, place or thing that was with you at the beginning of the journey won’t necessarily be with you at the end.  You’ll shed dead weight, figuratively and literally.

T…Try new things

Before I began this journey, I was convinced that I couldn’t do certain things and didn’t like certain things.  Don’t be afraid to try new things; embrace change.

U…Understand that weight loss takes time

You eat an elephant one bite at a time.  You change your life one day at a time.  You lose weight one pound at a time.  You didn’t lay down one night and wake up overweight.  You won’t lay down one night and wake up fit either.  It’s a process.

V…Visualize

See yourself as who you want to be, not who you were or who you are now.  Set your vision on where you’re going.

W…Watch your changes

Sometimes the hardest part of the weight loss journey is seeing where you were.  Capture your changes by photo, journal or both.

X…Xerox your goals

Write the vision; make it plain.  Put it anywhere you need it to stay focused:  your mirror, your refrigerator, your desk, your car, your wallet, wherever!

Y…Yearn for success

Want to succeed so much that it consumes you, that way thoughts of failure have no way to get in.

Z…Zealous

Stay devoted to your goals.  It won’t be easy; there will be ups and downs, without question.  Stay enthusiastic throughout though because you’re worth the effort!

I’m not by any stretch of the imagination a weight loss expert.  I’m just a regular, overweight person that knows how it is to listen to someone that you think doesn’t understand you because their BMI can actually be calculated.  I’ve been to the doctor and not known my weight because my weight has exceeded the scale.  I’ve been stared at, ridiculed, and/or felt uncomfortable because of my weight more than a few times.  I know what it ‘s like to want to do better but feel like you can’t because walking a block exhausts you.  So, trust me when I say…IF I CAN…YOU CAN!  Here’s to a healthier beginning for us all!!

Love, Carmen

December 31, 2012

Connections

This past week I took a break from social media in order to commune with God.  I disconnected from Facebook, Twitter and Instagram for 7 days in order to get reconnected with God and to hear from Him regarding His purpose for my life.  Sometimes you have to DISCONNECT in order to get CONNECTED.  If I’m honest, I’ve been out of fellowship with God for a little over a month.  My relationship with Him and who He is in my life didn’t change, but my fellowship with Him, my communing with Him, had slacked off some.  I was discouraged because an unfruitful connection, that I desperately wanted to be fruitful, had been broken.  God, however, had a different plan for me and that person.  Our connection to each other was no longer fruitful.  We had gone as far as we needed to go with each other on the road to our individual destinies.  He’s not a bad person; I’m a not a bad person.  We just no longer need each other to fulfill our purposes.  It took me a week off from social media in prayer and communication with God to really accept that.  I knew it, but I didn’t want to accept it as fact because the connection meant something to me, which is why disconnecting is hard.  However, I had to disconnect in order to get to my purpose.

God’s purpose for my life is to influence the lives of other women by sharing common experiences.  He intends for me to use the gift of writing to do it.  I love to write.  As a young girl, I always kept a diary that I wrote in every day.  I kept my secrets there: my crushes, my little sister drives me crazy rants, my I can’t wait to be grown and move away from these people tantrums, my dreams, my disappointments…anything and everything.  I had diaries with locks.  I had diaries that were just journal books.  I had spiral notebooks.  I would just write.  I even considered majoring in journalism when I went to college, but I decided to go with accounting instead thinking I would enjoy it more.  I stopped keeping a diary when I went to college.  My writing in college was reduced to the writing I had to do for papers.  Once I graduated and moved out on my own, I started keeping a journal again for a brief time, but it was short lived as well.  I hadn’t given much thought to writing anymore.  It’s funny how God works though.

A little over a year ago I had a chance encounter with a fellow Memphis Grizzlies fan.  She and a friend of hers had a blog that they were doing as fans of the team.  They were looking to expand their all ladies blog and were looking for contributors.  She asked if I would like to participate.  Let’s recall, I haven’t written in years at this point, except for school work and the occasional financial policy revision at work.  I accepted the invitation, and a fruitful connection with the ladies of All Heart in Hoop City began.  God has me writing again.  He had already deposited in me that influencing the lives of other women was my purpose when He allowed me the opportunity to serve as a Graduate Advisor for younger sorority sisters at a local college.  However, the marriage of the two, my gift of writing and my purpose, didn’t come that easy. 

God had given me the opportunity to write again, but I was only writing about basketball.  He deposited into my spirit that I should start my own blog for women, but I had my own doubts about it.  I don’t have time, I said.  There’s already a gazillion blogs like that, I said.  People may not even read it, I said.  The last excuse was really the driver of my resistance.  I feared doing it because I didn’t think people would read it.  So, I didn’t do it.  All Heart in Hoop City was featured in one of the local newspapers and one of my church members, a blogger and an author, read it and asked me to contribute to her blog, Who’s That Lady.  I did, and she’s become both a mentor and a friend to me.  Another fruitful connection is established. 

Right before my birthday in August, God dropped in my spirit a blog related to my season of singleness.  My intentions were to contribute that blog posting to Who’s That Lady.  I felt a constant urging from God to start my own blog though, and I did.  From that urging, God’s Precious Pearl was born.  One of the journalists that I shadowed while covering Grizzlies games for All Heart in Hoop City read my blog.  He has his own inspirational blog, A Message from God. His blog has a global following of close to 1 million people.  He asked if I, me, Carmen, would like to contribute to his blog.  I didn’t even have to think about it.  I knew it was God.  I accepted, and another fruitful connection was established.

There will come a time that you realize that your connections to some people, places and things will have to be severed.  Sometimes you will experience some heartache, rejection, or disappointment to know that a connection must be severed.  Other times, nothing bad will happen; the situation is just no longer viable for you and/or the other party to thrive.  Your connection to some people, places and things will stop bearing fruit after a while.  You will no longer be of benefit or help to the other party in fulfilling their purpose and vice versa.  Likewise, when God desires to give you a fruitful connection it will seemingly come out of nowhere.  Yet God knew from the day you were born which connections would be fruitful and unfruitful for you.  He will intentionally let you develop unfruitful connections to strengthen you for the purpose He has for your life.  By the same token, He will allow you to make fruitful connections with some of the most unlikely people, and these connections will help to propel you further into a life driven by fulfilling your purpose.

This past week on my social media hiatus I spent some time reading, Destiny by Bishop T.D. Jakes, and it confirmed for me that God is always intentional about the connections that He allows you to have on your road to fulfilling your purpose.  No connection or experience is wasted.  Your unfruitful connections and your fruitful connections will all work together to help you fulfill God’s purpose for your life.  By disconnecting just 7 days, God made it clear to me that the unfruitful connections that He's severed in my life along with the fruitful connections that He’s established for me are all working together to help me reach the destiny that He has for me.  All experiences, good or bad, give you a testimony.  Take some time to think about your connections and how they relate to the fulfillment of God’s purpose for your life.

Prayer

Lord today I thank you for fruitful and unfruitful connections.  Your Word says that ALL things work together for our good.  Thank you for being intentional in our lives.  When we don’t know how to sever unfruitful connections, I pray that you will disconnect us.  When we don’t trust that you’re trying to lead us into a fruitful connection, I pray that you stir up within us.  I thank you for unmerited favor and grace.  Give us a willingness to operate in the purpose that you have for our lives.  Help us to use both our fruitful and unfruitful connections to do your will.  Let no experience go misunderstood or wasted.  I thank and praise you in advance for our walk into destiny, in Jesus name, amen.