Last year my godsister gave me the challenge of selecting a
word that I would carry out for the year.
I prayed about the word and selected it.
I honestly forgot the word through the year though. However, I found the word, and reflected over
how the word had actually played out in my life during 2015. The word I chose for 2015 was RENEWAL. I prayed about renewal of my spirit, renewal
of my mind, renewal of my body, renewal of my finances and renewal in my home. My prayers were answered, but God
didn’t work the way I planned for Him to work.
I’d been talking to God about my future husband. I talked to Him about preparing me to be a
wife. I admittedly was quite consumed
with the idea of being a wife and being married. I felt like I was ready. I felt like it was time. In Ephesians 5:22, the Word commands that
wives submit unto their husbands. This
was one of those things that I couldn’t see myself doing, yet I wanted to be a
wife. I was used to being in
control. I was used to doing things my
way. So, subconsciously I considered
submission as a dirty word. When God
passed out humility, I didn’t quite stand in the line as long as I should have
to get my share. Here’s where the
renewing of my spirit comes in. God
allowed changes to happen on my job. My
supervisor ended up getting another position, and senior management decided to
bring in another supervisor to take his place.
I wasn’t even considered for a job that I was qualified and capable of
doing. That was my first lesson in
humility. In order for my new supervisor
to have an office, I had to give him mine and move from a nice corner office
into a cubicle. At the time, I was the
only manager in a cubicle. That was my
second lesson in humility. God didn’t
stop there though. He also put me in the
position of having to train my new supervisor.
That was my third and hardest lesson in humility, and it was also a
lesson in patience. I didn’t always
handle it gracefully. In fact, there
were times that God’s Precious Pearl wasn’t “precious” by any stretch of the
imagination. There were times I could
have set the whole city of Memphis ablaze with all the hell I had in me. It wasn’t until I really talked to God and
listened for Him that I got that this was meant to humble me. God humbled me in an arena of life that He
knew I wouldn’t quit: my job. God renewed my spirit.
I was praying about my husband, and God allowed an
ex-boyfriend (my first love actually) to come back into my life. I’d existed on a 19 year emotional
rollercoaster. For literally half of my
life, I existed in a rollercoaster type of love with this man. So, if he’s back now, surely he’s meant to be
my husband. I thought my prayers had
been answered. I started preparing for
my husband. I was praying for him. I was praying for me. I was praying for our future marriage. I even solicited the prayers of friends. In my mind, I thought I was hearing God tell
me that he was my future husband. God
was sending signs letting me know that he wasn’t, but I ignored them. I thought I wanted this man to be my husband
so badly, and I was so focused on it that I only talked to God about that. It literally consumed me. God will protect your heart even when you don’t
realize it needs protecting though. God severed
the connection to that man in 2015. He
brought closure to a situation that I thought I needed and wanted, and yet He
didn’t leave me broken. I have no ill
will towards him, but if we never speak again, I will be okay. My life has and will go on without him in
it. He’s okay, and I’m okay. God renewed my mind and my heart (body).
Throughout my life, I’ve admittedly had times that I bought
things that I didn’t need. I’ve
cluttered my home with these things. Sometimes
I would buy things and forget that I bought them. I’ve kept things that I no longer used or
needed just for the sake of keeping them.
Toward the end of the year, I sat down and evaluated the bills that I
have. I’ve come up with a way to
eliminate some of the debt in my life.
Hopefully at the end of 2016, I will only be paying on my mortgage and
my student loan. While I still have much
to eliminate from my home, I also eliminated some of the clutter too. God is still renewing my finances and my
home.
Even though I didn’t remember what my word was, God
did. God doesn’t always answer prayers
the way we want Him to. When I prayed
about renewal of spirit, I meant to make my walk closer with Him. He did that in several ways, but I never
thought humbling me in an arena where I was once highly respected would be one
of them. When I asked God to renew my
mind, I just wanted a fresh outlook on life.
I didn’t want to be so cynical and bitter and have an unforgiving
spirit. He did that too, but I never
thought it would come at the expense of losing a personal connection. When I prayed about the renewing of my body,
I meant I wanted to lose more weight. I
didn’t honestly do anything consistently to make that a reality though. Here God taught me that faith without works
is dead. When I asked God to renew my
finances, I actually wanted more money.
God gave me a vision for making the most of what I currently have. When I asked God to renew my home, I wanted
to be free of clutter and the boundaries that it set for me. He’s still working with me here because my
spirit had to be willing. I have to
actively participate in this renewal.
I did come up with my word for 2016. I won’t forget it. I can’t wait to look back on December 31,
2016 and write about how God moved in my life on the fulfillment of the word…DESTINY.
Prayer
God I want to thank you for allowing us to see a new
year. I pray that you will allow us to
turn our dreams into goals, and turn our goals into plans, and turn our plans
into actions in 2016. Give us clarity
and focus as we seek to live within your will for our lives. Let us not be regretful of days gone by. May the mistakes of our past strengthen our
future and prepare us for the days ahead.
Amen.
